Happy Birthday Dad.

80 Today!

We had all the family together to celebrate with Dad yesterday at his new home. It was a very poignant time . All 3 of dads daughters together and their children. He seemed content and happy.

 I had a feeling we needed to cherish it.  

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Recipe - meatballs

Frugal Friday

Mummy's Mammoth Meatballs

After a few treats over Christmas, it is back to being careful again in our household. We are not hard up in comparison to so many, but with 3 kids money can disappear very quickly! As I have said before I resent spending our hard earned money without thought and am learning to be more intentional about where and how to spend, resulting in some good savings and more money available to spend on the things we really want.

Frugal Friday 2013

I have had a few requests for some of the recipes that I use for my batch baking family meals so I thought I would start 2013 off with some of those. I need to stock my freezer up again as we relied heavily on these freezer meals whilst I was ill over Christmas, but it meant that everyone still ate well!

I am one of those cooks whose recipes tend to change slightly as the mood takes me and as the larder allows, but I think this adds variety! So do change the things you don't like about this recipe. Adding chilli flakes is a good one. Throw in a spare box of stuffing mix to bind these meatballs together - this is another favourite. Or cut down on the liver if your kids are not big fans.

They are pretty robust. 

There is not much damage you can do with them!

The name Mummy's Mammoth meatballs is not of course the proper name for this dish . It is actually Faggots, which has a different meaning in certain parts of the world and I don't like the name anyway. However, a faggot ( in food terms!) is a pork and liver based meatball, but when the kids saw how big they were compared to the normal beef ones I make they declared 

"Look at Mummy's Mammoth Meatballs" 

....and of course for good or bad that is what they are called. It gives us a good laugh every time anyway.

 Rename as you wish!

These are the measurements for a meal for 5. I make 3 times this in one go and freeze 2 meals. The meatballs are about the size of a tennis ball ( just a bit smaller), but make them the size that suit you - too small and they may fall apart.

Ingredients

Meatballs

750g pack of mince pork

400g minced lambs liver ( or chopped yourself in processor)

Quarter a loaf of breadcrumbs 

One large onion

Fresh chopped herbs ( what you can get - sage and rosemary. Fennel or coriander to add taste.)
One egg

Flour to place meatballs on

Sauce:

Basically to create a 'gravy' for them to cook in. I make a tomato based one as that is what my kids like. Anything goes here.....

Carton of passata

One large onion

Large blob of butter!

Plain Flour

Vegetable stock (1/4 - 1/2 pint depending on how thick you like it) ( or Beef if you prefer)

Garlic

Tomato puree

Worcestershire Sauce

Method

Chop the onions  

Fry the chopped onion until soft.

Place half the onions in a large bowl with the minced pork, minced liver, breadcrumbs , egg, herbs and seasoning. Put the rest of the onion aside to go in the gravy.

Mix well with your hands.

Flour a surface.

Form the mixture into firm balls about the size of a tennis ball ( excuse the terminology here) and place in a baking dish.

Cook for about 30 minutes at about 180 degrees, turning halfway until cooked through.

Whilst the meatballs are cooking through make the 'gravy'.

Make a base for the gravy by starting with butter and flour then adding the stock with the water. I always use a whisk to make sure of no lumps whatsoever. I then add passata, garlic,herbs, puree, w. sauce, seasoning, the rest of the cooked onion and whatever else you have in the stock cupboard to make it extra tasty! Cook through for a few minutes.

Take the meatballs out of the oven and pour the gravy over the meatballs and return to   the oven for another 20 to 30 minutes until the meatballs have absorbed some of the flavour from the gravy.

Serve with mash or rice and peas.

They freeze beautifully and taste even better second time around! I freeze these once they are totally cooked so they only need to be defrosted and warmed through.

Size of meatballs - never the same!

Ready for cooking.

Done!

And two meals for the freezer.

This is one of the cheapest meat based meals you can make. Minced pork and liver are both cheap and easily available. I turn old bread into breadcrumbs and freeze when I get to the end of loaves of bread so I am never short of breadcrumbs. The rest of the ingredients are stock cupboard basics.

Hope you enjoy them!

Dad.

The role reversal.

Somewhere along the line, I'm not sure I could pin down exactly when , the role of parenting seems to have been reversed. It wasn't a sudden change , more of a gradual shift in situation, priorities and health.

However, although it is still assumed by most acquaintances  when I say my parents live locally that we get plenty of help with the children, the reality is quite the opposite - I am the care giver not receiver. My Dad and Step mum actually moved into the next street to be nearer to us , so I could help out if needed.

My Dad has Parkinsons.

He gets very confused.

He is not very mobile and sometimes cannot move at all.

He lives at home with my step mum who is amazing and without her he would be in a nursing home. She fights hard for his care and organises his life so he goes places and does things . 

But she needs a break too.

 So, I have my Dad for a day when I can.

 I help with bits of care when my step mum is away .

 I take him shopping for bits and pieces he wants and out for coffee at garden centres ( they have larger aisles for his walker) .I  help when she goes away with the rota of care that she puts together - a combination of carers and family to look after him just so she can have  a few days away without him. It keeps her sane. Sometimes it is as simple as popping in , like today, for an hour to give him lunch.

 But I didn't feel like it.

I knew it would be hard and I was tired.

Sometimes I wish I still had parents who could come and help me - how selfish is that when he is going through so much?

I know it's because I am tired - weeks of demanding children, a husband who is working every hour that he can find, too much to fit in my busy schedule at the moment, children who still need more and I'm stretched. I felt I had nothing left. Everybody wanting a piece of me.

The moment I walked in and forced myself to call out a cheery " Hi Dad" and saw him sitting there drooling, with chocolate all around his mouth, talking nonsense about whether he had fixed the rail for the curtain correctly, I knew he was off colour and it was going to be tough. For the record he won't have been near fixing a curtain rail for the past 10 years. His mind plucks random information from the past and thrusts it into the present making it seem real to him.

But, there are times when I just can't listen to him talk rubbish again.

There are times when I have to hide how I am feeling from him.

There are times when, if I am totally honest, it just annoys me - how bad is that?

 I was so tired I had nothing inventive to say at that moment so I wandered into the kitchen to make sandwiches and a cup of strong tea for him. He had always been very driven and motivated by his own ambitions and I think this illness brings the worst of that side out of him . He focuses only on himself, no one else, but then wouldn't I - it is an awful , lonely walk and I have cried with him many a time. They say to try and separate the person from the illness helps you to cope, but they are so intertwined now that is hard to do.

Don't get me wrong , I love my Dad and I would do anything for him, but I spend hours popping pills in his mouth, manhandling him into the car to take him out for some fresh air, listening to his ramblings that often drift in and out of sense.....sometimes I would like to hear him ask in his moments of lucidity, how I am, but he never does anymore. Sometimes it is much too hard to see your 'Dad' sitting there like that, but he is not your ' Dad' anymore. No one asks me if I am dealing with it alright - I am just expected to.

Somewhere along the line his role as " Dad" changed , but I couldn't tell you when that was, only that the father I once knew isn't there anymore. 

But I can't grieve for his passing because he hasn't died .

I can't give up on him because he IS still my Dad.

The Dad I remember left long ago. I  can't pinpoint when, he just kind of got swallowed up gradually by this disease until there was not much left apart from a vague physical resemblance.

So what do you do?

You sleep.

You recharge your batteries.

You put a smile on your face and you continue to choose to love and care because the day will come when you won't be able to anymore. 

You do that because if you don't, who will?

You do that because deep down you'd want someone to do it for you.

You do that because you do deeply love him.

You do that so you won't one day regret that you didn't.