Monday, 25 March 2013

The road is never straight....

My Dad

Once we had moved Dad into his home we knew there would be a period of settling for him ....and for us. 

New routines and adjustments to make.

What we didn't expect was the nagging feeling that he wasn't happy . The deep certainty that this just wasn't right.

I couldn't put my finger on it.

The room was lovely. 

The staff were pleasant. 

The boxes were all ticked.

On one occasion I called in to take Dad out and he had refused to get dressed. He was sat in a darkened room in his pyjamas. I got him dressed, shaved him and hugged him. 

He cried. 

The next time I went to visit he was confused and disorientated. He didn't even know who I was.

I cried.

He seemed to be losing himself in this place. There was not enough stimulation to keep him focussed and aware. I  know for Dad care is so much more than just meeting his physical needs. He needs to be talked to. Listened to. Considered. Liked. Loved. Entertained. So......

Last weekend we moved him to the most amazing place ever. It may be 3/4 of an hour away , but I feel so thankful we have found it. The people who run this place are angels.

They cut his hair and trimmed his eyebrows and made him look so handsome.  They listened to him play his harmonica and to his stories and told him what an amazing man he is. He cried, but for the right reasons. 

They take the residents to the pub in the bus and for walks every day. They have comedy days and garden parties. They have a visiting musician and spa trips. They have activities every morning and afternoon.

WE have to book to see HIM.  

HE is the busy one. 

He is honoured and cherished and loved when we are not there to do it and I cannot find the words to tell you what that means to me.

Yes, I'd rather he was home and not so far away, but that isn't possible anymore so for now he is in the best place he can be , of that I am sure.

Take a look at his smiling face in my instagram picture in my sidebar. 

That's a happy Dad. X

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  1. Gosh Claire. I'm tearing up reading that post. I don't know what to say but I'm just so happy that you managed to get it right for your dad and that you didn't just make do. This just goes to prove how you need to go with your gut instincts and make things right - your dad looks so happy. I'm going to go and wipe my eyes now.

  2. That is fabulous Claire:) It must be great to have the comfort in knowing he is being well cared for.Have a lovely week:)
    ~Anne xx

  3. Ahh Claire, your Dad looks content & has a twinkle in his eye. I'm so glad you found him a home that goes the extra mile to look after your lovely Dad. Xxxxxx

  4. Wonderful, am so glad he's being well cared for and bless him in the picture, so sweet!! So many are un-looked after, it's nice to know this isn't the case here!! Xxx

  5. Oh Claire I am so glad that this has a happy ending! It is so so important that we remember that when people need care they still remain a human being who have needs, desires, emotions and it appears that this second home totally gets that. Your Dad looks very happy in that pic!

  6. He looks so happy in that picture!

  7. Oh Claire, I've got tears in my eyes. My Dad had Parkinson's and Alzheimer's and I remember so clearly when he had to go into care. I'm so happy to hear that you have found a living situation that is so supportive of your Dad. He does indeed look so happy in his picture.

  8. I'm so glad that you found such a great solution for everyone. It's such a difficult time - great to hear that everyone is so much happier now.

  9. That smile tells you he is one happy man.
    Take Care-you are doing a great job. X

  10. Ah Claire you had me welling up here. So glad you found a place where he feels he belongs and which suits him. He does indeed look happy in his pic! Xx

  11. How brilliant to know your Dad is now in safe hands, what a weight off your mind! xx

  12. Really pleased you have founds somewhere where it looks like they really care for their residents. I hope your Dad will continue to be happy there.

  13. So pleased he is happy and he certainly looks it!

  14. It made me cry too. He looks very happy, glad you can take some comfort x

  15. A woman's gut instinct is always right ! Well done on acting on it. Moving your dad was exactly the right thing to do. Pleased for your dad, you and the family. xxx

  16. This post made me well up, I am so pleased you have found somewhere that meets all of his needs and I hope he continues to be happy there. Finding the right home is so important and where they see him as an individual xx